A sixteen hour plane-ride is long enough to turn The Green Hornet into an incredible movie. It's long enough to make a bed of rocks feel like a temperpedic mattress. It's long enough to make the Rosie O'Donald look alike six rows ahead look like an 8/10 with just two glasses of wine. But it's not long enough to get to Bangkok. We needed two plane rides for that.
Sometimes in cities you walk over a sewer grate and feel a sticky, humid heat that you don't want to know the source of. The source of it is probably Bangkok.
Asian languages and their accompanying accents cannot be exaggerated or characterized. Anyone who says otherwise is overly sensitive or lying. The squeaks and curves blend vowels and consonants together in such a way that Lil Wayne sounds articulate in comparison.
One dollar is about 30 baht. I'm terrible at arithmetic, but I'm getting really good at multiplying and dividing by 30.
Bad music in America is still bad music in Thailand, arguably made more annoying by the fact that one would think several thousand miles would be enough of a distance to hide from Lady Gaga's new single or whatever else is hot with the kids right now.
You can make yourself more attractive by changing countries. I haven't been hit on by this many girls since I pretended to be the Macaulay Culkin in the Amsterdam airport pre-Africa.
KFC in Thailand is sort of like KFC in America: It's still sketchy as hell.
Peanut Butter is a hot, expensive commodity, but it comes with a free soy milk- juice box.
In theory you drive on the left side of the street in Thailand, but the truth is no one seems to really care what side of the street you're on.
Thai beers are bigger. Bigger is better, everywhere in the world.
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